[Collette]

Do you have any questions, comments or queries on Love? Post them here to share and discuss with others!

[Collette]

The first type of love we are exploring is eros.

Named after the Greek God of love and fertility eros was associated with the primal impulse to procreate, with sexual passion and desire.

Because eros was a primal emotion, ancient Greeks believed it to be a potentially dangerous and frightening form of love marked by a loss of control and discipline. Whilst this form of love may, in one respect, ensure that life continues and therefore the world does go on, is it really a satisfying form of love? Is it the only kind of love that you need?

[Colette]

Our second word for love is philia. The Ancient Greeks valued philia far above eros because it was a love between friends or equals.

Philia has nothing to do with physical attraction: it is a dispassionate, virtuous love. Philia may be found in the loyalty between friends, the camaraderie among colleagues, and the sense of sacrifice and striving that develops in teams. Philia may be felt by friends who’ve endured hard times together or who have weathered the vagaries of life. Perhaps the boys who were successfully rescued rescued from the Luang Nang Non Cave in July 2018 will share this form of love for the rest of their lives….

This form of love is one that endures and can be celebrated but is it enough to make the world go around? Are there other aspects of love that we would want to add if love is to be all we need?

[Colette]

The word philia describes a particular form of love – that of friendship or brotherhood. We can, and should, celebrate the positives this kind of love can bring – mutual encouragement, strength, support and growth.
The book of Proverbs contains much wisdom amongst which is this little gem: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:7). This sounds like a good description of philia to us. Our illustration is of Job and a friend – a man who needed friends in the face of adversity but who found some wanting.
Today may you experience, or offer, philia to someone close to you.

[Colette]

Storge is, in English at least, a rather inelegant word for a form of love that is really very beautiful. Storge closely resembles philia in that it is a love without physical attraction, but it is related primarily to kinship and familiarity. It is a natural form of love that often flows between members of a family (however that may be configured) or long-term friends. This kind of love is steady and sure. This kind of love is deeply satisfying, it is something to cherish but is it enough to make the world go around? Are there any other aspects of love that it misses if love is to be ‘all we need’?

[Colette]

When considering the love described by the word ‘storge’ the story of Naomi and Ruth (described in the Hebrew scriptures in the book of Ruth) comes quickly to mind.

Naomi was widowed and far from home with her two widowed daughters-in-law. Hungry and disempowered, she heard that God had made food available in her homeland. She decided to go back to Bethlehem, in Judah, instructing her two daughters-in-law to leave her and find new lives. While one, Orpah, returned to her mothers home, the other Ruth, clung to Naomi. Ruth declared that they would stay together, that their love and kinship would survive: Naomi’s God and people would be Ruth’s God and people. This storge between the two women would lead to a new life and a new family, a heritage that would again be marked in the genealogy of Jesus in Matthews Gospel.

[Colette]

Our fourth Greek word for love – ludus – has a lovely innocent element to it. The Greeks understood it as playful form of love, as seen for example, in the affection between lovers. Ludus is known in a fluttering heart, the long look, the gentle teasing comment and the checking of a mobile or email every 30 seconds! Playfulness in love is often one of the most mourned elements by couples whose relationship has become more long term or less invested.

In the clip from First dates (below) recommended by our friend Natalie Chapman we see the loss of love and the rekindling of ludus.

Ludus is an attractive, stimulating form of love but is it sufficient to make the world go around – is it really ‘all you need’?

[Colette]

In considering how we might find examples of ludus (the Greeks understanding of love as ‘playful’) in the Bible we might turn to the Creation stories. In Genesis were are told that the world was created ‘and it was good’. The world was made and it was full of joy and delight – from sunsets to sunrises, from the plethora of creatures to the wonder of companionship. Creation is often understood by people of all faiths as an outpouring of divine love. Does creation itself indicate a playful love? Does it contain an invitation to enjoy, explore and play?

Sadly innocent creation in the Biblical story didn’t last very long and innocence was replaced by a world of toil and labour but that isn’t the end of the story. The Bible has faith that God’s love is constant and that whilst things can be awful the world should hold onto hope. The book of Zephaniah asserts that a new creation will come, that God will recreate the heavens and the earth. Then God will “…rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

Perhaps the playful love of God is always present in the world but sometimes we just aren’t in the right place to feel it. Can you make some time to enjoy the world around you, to play, today

[colette]

In considering how we might find examples of ludus (the Greeks understanding of love as ‘playful’) in the Bible we might turn to the Creation stories. In Genesis were are told that the world was created ‘and it was good’. The world was made and it was full of joy and delight – from sunsets to sunrises, from the plethora of creatures to the wonder of companionship. Creation is often understood by people of all faiths as an outpouring of divine love. Does creation itself indicate a playful love? Does it contain an invitation to enjoy, explore and play?

Sadly innocent creation in the Biblical story didn’t last very long and innocence was replaced by a world of toil and labour but that isn’t the end of the story. The Bible has faith that God’s love is constant and that whilst things can be awful the world should hold onto hope. The book of Zephaniah asserts that a new creation will come, that God will recreate the heavens and the earth. Then God will “…rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

Perhaps the playful love of God is always present in the world but sometimes we just aren’t in the right place to feel it. Can you make some time to enjoy the world around you, to play, today?

[colette]

When considering how the playful love of God might be seen in the very act of creation, the RRC’s good friend Rev’d Jonathan Lawson reminded us of this wonderful proverb in which Wisdom expresses it’s delight in the creativity of those mythical early days… We have quoted the whole proverb here and an image of The Creation (Lunette) from the Portfolio “Spanish Colonial Designs of New Mexico” for your enjoyment!

The Lord created me at the beginning of his work, the first of his acts of old.
Ages ago I was set up, at the first, before the beginning of the earth.
When there were no depths I was brought forth, when there were no springs abounding with water.
Before the mountains had been shaped, before the hills, I was brought forth;
before he had made the earth with its fields, or the first of the dust of the world.
When he established the heavens, I was there, when he drew a circle on the face of the deep,
when he made firm the skies above, when he established[d] the fountains of the deep,
when he assigned to the sea its limit, so that the waters might not transgress his command,
when he marked out the foundations of the earth,
then I was beside him, like a master workman; and I was daily his delight,
rejoicing before him always,
rejoicing in his inhabited world
and delighting in the sons of men.

Proverbs 8:22-31 (Revised Standard Version)

[colette]

According to the ancient Greeks ‘Mania’ is a form of love that leads a person into a type of obsessive madness. This kind of love is essentially unbalanced because those who experience mania want to love and be loved for self-centred reasons – to find a sense of self-value. The loved one becomes an object whose value is not intrinsic – they are merely an expression of their partners’ needs. This kind of love risks delusion, possessiveness and jealousy. This aspect of love is ultimately destructive – it probably wouldn’t allow the world to go around, it might bring it to a grinding halt! Can you think of any examples in film or fiction where mania drives the plot?

[colette]

The first of the Jewish Kings – Saul – was a man of great presence, nobility and power. His life and adventures are narrated in 1 Samuel but there seems to be two competing narratives in this book. One is of a great King: a man ‘full of the spirit of the Lord’. The other is a troubled creature distracted by ‘the evil spirit of the Lord’.
Saul clearly struggled with mental ill health. The psalmist David was recruited from his sheep to sooth Saul’s troubled mind but this initially healing relationship broke down when Saul became threatened by David’s growing popularity and influence.
During his later life Saul clearly exhibited some kind of mania – was it a clinical illness, a manic love of power or status, a terrible combination of both or something else entirely?

[colette]

The Greek form of love known as ‘pragma’ is a love that has matured and developed over time. Beyond the physical, full of depth, pragma may describe the deep love between long-lasting couples or friends. Pragma is a type of love that is marked by loyalty, endurance and resilience – it is a love that must be revisited and maintained. Unlike the other types of love identified by the Greeks, pragma can only come from effort on both sides. Do you have a relationship where pragma can be celebrated? How might you do that today?

[Ruby Sator]

God’s love is constant and that whilst things can be awful the world should hold onto hope. The book of Zephaniah asserts that a new creation will come, that God will recreate the heavens and the earth. Then God will “…rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) https://s3.amazonaws.com/just-build-lol/index.html

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